When to Use Who Or Whom - and Does Anyone Care Anyway?

The English language provides an abundant variety of ways in which you can express your thoughts, ideas, concepts and emotions. However, such a wide choice can often lead to confusion. Some words can sound similar but have subtly different meanings.

For example "who" and "whom" are known to confuse. As cultures evolve, what was important yesterday may not be so important today. As a result, many today simply use "who" and rarely use "Whom". Nevertheless, here's are some simples guidelines to help you determine whether to use "who" or "whom" in your writing and speaking presentations.

Start by writing your sentence. Then:

• Try substituting the word "he", "she" or "they" in your sentence. If the result reads correctly, use "who". For example, imagine the sentence is: "She will write the next article". Therefore we use "who" so the sentence now reads: "Who will write the next article?"
• Substitute the word "him", "her" or "them". If the result reads correctly, consider using "whom". Again, here's an example. If the sentence is: "So, you'll be discussing this option with him?", we use "whom". Now the sentence reads: "So you'll be discussing this option with whom?"

However ...

Even though the quick tests above can help you determine the correct choice every time, a growing number of publication styles today are simply opting to use "who". On occasions, I too may use "who" when some may argue, I should be using "whom".

Key tip: whenever you too are faced with the "who / whom" minor dilemma, I suggest you too also use your own judgment. Why?

• Sometimes, using "whom" which although may be correct, can simply make your writing or speaking appear staid, pompous, unfriendly or too formal.
• Remember, one of the most important goals of any writing or speaking is simply to connect with your audience, so certainly don't do anything that may hamper your progress. First impressions really do count.
• Writing, speaking and presenting tends to mirror how we speak. Today, few use "whom" in spoken conversation when addressing or interacting with a wide audience.
• However, I do recommend that you adjust your writing or speaking style to match the literary "pitch" of your audience or readership.